Sexual Rights are Human Rights

Robin Baumgarten (Sister Namibia)--We are doing something extraordinary - something radical - talking about sex and about pleasure. Fifty women coming together for a week to think about our bodies - breasts, arms, mouths, vaginas; about our husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers. About what we’ve been taught about ourselves since before we could walk, since our first periods arrived and we grew hair on our armpits; about what we’ve been taught about being a ‘good woman’, a ‘good wife’; about what we’ve been taught about how we should - or shouldn’t - experience our sexuality.

In September 2008, Sister Namibia conducted a week-long national training of trainers workshop for fifty Herero women from all over Namibia on ‘Women’s Sexual Rights, Culture, HIV and AIDS.’ The participants were invited to explore their experiences as women through a feminist lens, analysing the ways in which culture impacts their ability to access their sexual and reproductive rights and what that means for their overall health and well-being, particularly in relation to the HIV epidemic. In addition, the training prepared the participants to conduct workshops of their own in their communities that will get people thinking about the sexual rights of women.

That’s right. You heard me. Women’s sexual rights. We have sexual rights including a right to ask for sex when we want and how we want (come on baby, I’m in the mood); a right to say no (put that thing away, I’m tired); a right to enjoy it (oh yeah! A little to the left!); and a right to safe sex (no glove, no love). And guess what. These rights are enshrined in the Namibian constitution and a host of other legally binding instruments including the AU Protocol on the Rights of Women in Africa.

In terms of investigating sexual cultural practices, Sister Namibia had not worked much with Herero women up to this point. Practices such as dry sex, initiation rites, and widow inheritance had been whispered about in the periphery of discussions and occasionally shouted about and noted on flip chart paper at some of our earlier trainings, but we believed that women wanted a forum to share their thoughts and ideas around culture and sex and to talk openly about their sexual and reproductive rights, or lack thereof. At the same time, Sister Namibia was launching the Otjiherero translation of the booklet, We, women and girls of Namibia, claim our right to survive HIV and AIDS by challenging poverty, oppressive cultural practices, and violence. A perfect opportunity to share, to learn and to raise consciousness was born.

The workshop brought together an interesting mix of women from twenty-two communities throughout Namibia, most of whom are already working in the field of HIV and are leaders in their communities. We struggled through some difficult moments as participants revealed their personal stories, wrestled with tradition and culture, and pushed through the uncomfortable task of examining their personal lives. ‘We are not having sex when and how we want,’ said one participant.

‘Sometimes we are forced to have sex with our cousins, especially at initiation.’ This topic caused much controversy with some participants chalking it up to something that happened in the past, a tradition that has died, while others adamantly insisted that it still happens today. Another point of contention was the practice of dry sex. Some participants reported having dry sex because their partners enjoy it, and seeing nothing wrong with the practice. One woman celebrated the fact that dry sex is good because it is over quickly, while others whole-heartedly condemned the drying out of the vagina with herbs or powders to make sex more pleasurable for their partners.

The women discussed expectations for men and women; the expectation that wives must submit to their husbands anytime, anywhere – particularly when it comes to sex; the impact of lobola on a woman’s ability to negotiate sex, and widow inheritance. The workshop allowed for debate and dialogue around these serious issues, providing a platform and a new framework for analysis – a sexual rights framework.

In October and November, participants carried out their own local workshops, bringing lively discussion, with booklets and other materials to their communities. ‘From working with Sister Namibia, I got more courage to work with women in my community,’ reported one facilitator. ‘People in the community say they now know that they have the right to decide when and how to have sex, I’ve gained much confidence and feel proud of my work.’ Another participant confided, ‘I know my sexual rights. If I say no to my partner, I now know that he is not allowed to force me to have sex.’

All in all, 18 workshops have been conducted in local communities throughout Namibia, and people are asking for more. ‘I am receiving calls from different people from areas where we have not had workshops requesting that we come to them,’ reported a trainer from Okondjatu. All the women involved in this campaign are doing something extraordinary and in that doing - that talking, that thinking, that reliving, that revisioning - we are doing so much more. We are breaking the silence and taboos around harmful cultural practices that oppress girls and women and lead to the spread of HIV, other sexually transmitted infections and general unhappiness. We are exposing that wound to sunlight and air, so that it can heal and we can be fully human, revelling in our sexuality as part of the human experience.

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